He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
