Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
