Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
its not stalking. its research.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
