Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
When are your genitals available?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
