i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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