I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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