this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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