Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize