Dual....:-)
hell yes lets make some ravioli
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
