And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
