make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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