If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
