if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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