Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
