we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize