Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize