i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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