I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Are we still banned from the library?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
