I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
