But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
