Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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