Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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