Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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