Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
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