do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
