oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize