On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just blew my weed a kiss
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
