Small penises have feelings too.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize