he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
