We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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