i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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