is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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