I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
