I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
