The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Can I color on your dick again?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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