I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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