i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
