I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
