At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
