No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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