He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
