It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
