Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
and she was petting her beer can
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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