i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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