why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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