i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
