11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
