I am puke
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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