I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Two words: blizzard sex
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
