what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
