I didn't shave. On purpose
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
