too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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