Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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