Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Houston, we have a squirter
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
