your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
