I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
