the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
