ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
