I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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