Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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