for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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