yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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